2024-06 Jun - Memories Make It Easier to Turn Our Hearts to Our Ancestors and Deceased Relatives

Jun 3, 2024 family history turning hearts memories granddad plain text

Read time: Summary 0.4 minutes | Expanded section: 12.2 minutes | Appendices: 6.7 minutes

Summary Message

Expanded Message - Memories Make It Easier to Turn Our Hearts to Our Ancestors and Deceased Relatives

Sharing Our Stories

In light of how we’ve fallen behind prior years (see Our Ward's Progress section below) as a ward with stories in the memories section of familysearch.org, I would like to focus on sharing our stories with our families and relatives as one way to turn our hearts to our deceased relatives. Even cousins may be interested in 10-20 years, especially if their line left little of their stories.

An aside for Single Adults: I have found a larger numbers of single aunts, uncles, and cousins than I expected in my family tree. I document as much of their stories as I can find. I’m sad when I can’t find much information about them. If you’re single, please don’t feel left out when it can sometimes feel like so much of church life is aimed at families with children. God loves you too. You too are precious in His sight. AND, your family linkages (nephews, nieces, cousins) will want to know about your life too. Please share your story on familysearch.org so your story is not lost. Turn to the Savior for solace to overcome the world.

Do you still have old photos from family?

Do you have photos on social media sites of relatives that you might need to put a digital copy on their (or your) familysearch.org page

Why? Rachael Rifkin wrote a nice article about getting stories from generations before they’re gone.

It’s a common regret: “I wish I’d asked my grandparents, parents, aunts, and uncles more about their lives.” Most people don’t know much about their family history. This is because people [sometimes] don’t become interested in genealogy until they’re in their 50s and 60s, when they have more time to reflect on their family identity. The problem is that by that time, their grandparents and parents have often already passed away or are unable to recount their stories.

How to solve this?

The solution to this problem is to get people interested in their family histories when they’re still adolescents or young adults, when they can still hear directly from relatives. (emphasis added)

Note how Rachael quotes Jody Koenig Kellas, Ph.D., a professor of communication studies at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.

“How we tell our stories matter. “Families who engage in storytelling by being present and warm, who share the floor and build on each other’s contributions, who seek out and honor each other’s perspectives on how things happened or the meaning of the story, and who work together to create the meaning or moral of the story — these families report higher levels of health and happiness than families who are distant, disengaged, don’t take each other’s perspectives into account, and don’t work together to build story meaning”

When is the best time to tell stories in your family?

Everyday conversations are the perfect time to share stories. You don’t have to wait for large, holiday gatherings to start sharing stories from your family history. You can incorporate this type of storytelling into the everyday moments in your life. “Just keep an ear out for when your children bring up something that happened to them, either good or challenging, and relate it back to something that happened to you when you were their age." “Adolescents look like they’re not listening and even act like they could care less, but they are listening and hearing and using these stories.”

What about young kids? What works for parents telling stories to young children?

“Kids also love to talk at the end of the day. Asking about their day, and telling family stories, instead of reading a book at bedtime every once in a while is a way to incorporate family storytelling into life.”

For adults visiting family, try integrating “storytelling into your holiday traditions.”

Adults, try 20 Questions to Ask Elderly Loved Ones to Connect and Reminisce for ideas to get your parents talking. Record the conversation (with permission). Whisper A.I. can transcribe it into writing for free and faster than prior technologies.

Don’t underestimate the impact you have on your grandchildren ~ Ashby Daniels in article 10 life-defining lessons I learned from my grandparents

How long do you have to get these stories?

You have all the time in the world, until suddenly you don’t.

What if they had added their stories to familysearch.org? Then you’d have All of Your Family Stories–In One Place

I have an ancestor who, as an elementary school student, had to carry a Colt pistol while on horseback on his way to school due to the dangers of the time. That interested me as a young man to learn more about him. What stories interested you? What might interest your progeny?

Who are the keepers of family stories?

“Grandparents, more than anyone else, are the keepers of the family stories. They are a living bridge between the past and the future of a family. Their intimate connection with the two generations that preceded them and the two that follow gives them a remarkable knowledge and view of the landscape of five generations.” ~ Gary Aitchison

Story delivery matters.

CAUTION: To those over 60, try to remember what it’s like being a wiggly child. Avoid unintentionally squashing youth’s or children’s desire to hear your stories by trying to corner younger people or children for 30-60 minutes to tell that story, or expecting them to sit still while you talk. Rather, remember what is reasonable for little ones. Consider starting with a question, “Would you like to hear part of a story about ________?” Then as my wife’s Dad says, “Quit while they’re having fun.” So they want to come back for more. Write or audio-record your story and tell a snippet at one time. Adjusting your delivery to the child’s capacity & interests will bless you both. Engaging stories are ALWAYS aimed at the audience.

That caution happened to me as a kid. After that, I preferred playing on the old tractor to going inside. How can you deliver your stories better? Parents, you may have to remind your Mom or Dad of this principle of engagement as they share memories with your children / their grandchildren. Depending on their age, it may be more effective for you to record your parent’s stories and tell them to your children. You know your kids best and their current attention span & capacities to listen and engage.

Don’t get sad if today’s youth and children don’t want to sit still for your story. It is likely they just don’t want to sit still.

The old testament prophet Isaiah has great advice for family story telling.

Here a little, and there a little (Isaiah 28:10)

Scripture does have patterns for all things. This pattern applies at different life stages too:

Young grandparents, aunts, or uncles in your 40s-50s (aren’t we all young?), consider using some of that time you have now to write or record this legacy gift of memories to the following generations and relatives. They may not appreciate your contribution right now (I didn’t at 14 yrs old), but they will appreciate what you tithed time and effort towards as they mature and can then get to know you, perhaps by then even after you’re gone on, past the veil. The timing of mortality is shorter now than in the time of Adam. He could wait 50 more years. Current biology says you and I cannot procrastinate for long. Mortal memories decline faster in some than others. We don’t know which type we are until we’re in it. Act now! What memories can you contribute or help gather from others this month?

Young parents, how is that baby book coming along in between naps to recover your strength in the huge challenge of child rearing? Consider a sentence or two every week per child and store this somewhere you can get to it when your children sleep more regularly. Here a little, there a little works here too.

Children, ask Mom or Dad to share a story about one of your ancestors.

Parents of teens, time flies. Capture a little more about the busy lives of your children(s) each month. Store it somewhere that you can return to it while they’re off to college or trade schools or their next adventure and you’re one birdie less in your nest. Here a little, there a little works here too.

Single adults, write something about your life aimed at the audience of other relatives at least once per month. Document your mortal journey too. Here a little, there a little works here too.

Grandparents in your 60s-70s, you are in the prime family history service years. You can serve hours rather than minutes pulling out those notes you made in earlier, busier times, and aggregate them into a story of your life, your spouse’s life, your children’s lives.

If you feel God has called you to be a curator of family history, what does the Holy Ghost reveal that you can do next? This monthly message provides ideas. Each of us are in a different context of life in this moment. As you take minutes for memories, they can add up. Later (if we’re blessed with later), we may have hours.

Storing memories on familysearch.org too makes a backup that survives a disaster at home. If you store in a written journal, let a key person know where you keep it. If you store digitally, make backups.

TIP: Memories can be short. It is not called thousand-page-books. Memories can be a few sentences or paragraphs. Memories can be a photo snapshot in time. Memories can be an audio capture of a segment of someone’s story. Think bite-sized memories first. Get better at that. These segments, snippets, and snapshots aggregate like pieces of a puzzle reveal a bigger picture of your life or one of your people’s lives.

What’s next?

Perhaps we will later hear our Savior say to us:

Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. (Matthew 25:23)

Our New Temple Is Coming

Our Ward’s Progress in Temple & Family History Work

I share these metrics only to help us all see our current state in Temple & Family History.

TIP: We don’t get person-by-person data, only aggregated data for the ward to help guide our work together in Temple & Family History efforts.

Upcoming Stake Temple & Family History Dates

  1. Stake Temple “Day” 19-20 July

    • Help the Stake meet its goal of 1,000 ordinances during this time.
    • Youth can help with baptisms and confirmations
    • Adults can help with any ordinances
    • You can now make Temple reservations now. Families and individuals should make their own plans. There is no group time.
    • Normally, we do not track ordinances, but for this event please let your leadership know so they can see how the Stake did against it’s goal of 1,000 ordinances.

  2. Our Stake Family History Celebration is scheduled for Oct 26

    • Talk to the Family Search Center Director for more information (See Tools App for contact info)

Sincerely, Your Ward Temple & Family History Consultants,

During Stake Family Search Center posted hours, our Ward’s staffing assignments are posted near the hours on the bulletin board next to the Family Search Center door.

(our contact info is in the tools app, or see us in church)

Appendix A - How Do We Get To Know People?

Can’t find journals or records that reveal much of these get-to-know-our-people-better items? Then consider interviewing your living people to ask questions about the things listed above to capturing memories and put them into familysearch.org. Many mothers have baby books with some of this information. Did their mother pass such a book down to peak into their early life?

Appendix B - Print Outlasts Technology Lifecycles–Use Plain Text

CAUTION: Yes, you can self-publish your personal history to Amazon so your family can buy a copy, but consider the risks and plan to mitigate them. Publishing a life history to the whole world may not be a great idea in our time of rampant identity theft and other cyber crime. Handing thieves your personally identifiable information (DOB, etc.) may not be wise today. Alternatively consider a printing company and only printing 10 or so copies for your family. I did this and can point you to a good printing company. This is not publishing, but simply privately printing enough copies for your loved ones. Consider that even familysearch.org keeps written details private for living people.

Appendix C - Current Workflow for Family History & Temple Service Work (Reminder of the big picture)

  1. Historical people’s information first has to be digitized (others do this).
  2. We index people’s digitized information so the image can be associated with text, which can be found in computer searches.
  3. We link families' data together in FamilySearch.org (each member’s initial target is 4-Generations found and linked. Later we work cousin lines too.)
  4. We link people’s information (source data) to the right person to help us and others to get to know them better. (new indexed sources being added monthly - The work is not done)
  5. Finally, we can get names to take to the temple and offer them the choice of being linked to their families for eternity in our own pattern of regular temple attendance.

Appendix D - 2024 Ward Temple & Family History Coordination Meetings

The Stake guidance is to regularly hold a ward/branch Temple and Family History Coordination Meeting. So in 2024, we are doing that.

Appendix E - Repository of Older Ward Messages Is Now Available

As a reference repository, I set up a website with all the older ward messages about Temple & Family History.

NOT COMMERCIAL: When buying the domain name, I got interrupted and then mistakenly clicked the button for dot com, rather than dot org. I didn’t want to pay for the domain name twice, so I kept the mistake. The site is not for commercial purposes despite my wrong selection. Sorry for the dot com extension.