2025-10 Oct - Acceleration
Oct 10, 2025
network effect
Ambiguity
ask for help
Read time: Summary 0.1 minutes | Expanded section: 13.4 minutes | Entire message 13.5 minutes
Summary
- Blessings: When Family History Work Suddenly Accelerates
- For Family History, Get Comfortable with a Bit of Ambiguity
- For many of us humans the hardest thing is to ask for help
- Story Time
- Workflow for Family History
Expanded Message
Blessings: When Family History Work Suddenly Accelerates
Science has identified something called the network effect, so I will use this effect to articulate a blessing I have found in Temple & Family History service.
Network effects in genealogical data means the more people and sources entered, the more valuable each new entry becomes (because it’s more likely to connect to other people). Familysearch attempts to find not just “your” family tree, but all of God’s entire family tree on earth; all of humanity. The site experiences nonlinear growth in connectivity even if our adding-people-growth is linear. This is a genealogical network effect — a variant of Metcalfe’s Law applied to ancestral data. Family trees are actually more accurately represented as family networks, which can be represented as graphs, with people as nodes, and linkages between parent and child, husband and wife, as edges.
At first, each of us adds a few family members (our four generations). The familysearch.org tree initially consisted of many tiny, disconnected components (hundreds of millions of little family trees). Graph edges are sparse, and adding new people (nodes) mostly grows isolated clusters. This feels slow at first.
At first, it might occasionally feel like a slow slog. Then at some point, it all seems to suddenly accelerate. At first, every new person we make a page for adds a little to the human network, then as the network grows, the number of possible relationships and sources explodes combinatorially. That’s the feeling of sudden acceleration, when your focus areas in the familysearch.org network crosses some connectivity threshold.
I have felt this when starting at a place one of my family lines lived and adding everyone in that small town’s graveyard to familysearch.org. At some point, I start finding that much of the town are my cousins. I’ve done this for a larger city, a county and for a state too, where my family has lived. I’ve added all with a specific surname (initially to disambiguate them from my surname line). Each time, no matter the scale of the geographic region I use, the same pattern occurs! Linking people suddenly seems to speed up and I find many more connections. This network effect pattern emerges with our work and is rewarding, a blessing. I find cousins I knew not. This approach also helps others find their more direct lines too.
If we charted these connections, with the vertical axis as number of connections, and the horizontal axis as people & sources added, the chart looks like a hockey stick. At first the chart is flat or nearly flat for a seemingly longer time, and then it suddenly jumps upward (the blessing), looking steep or nearly exponential.
This is one of the blessings that comes from Temple & Family History work. That combinatorial explosion of connectivity makes up for the slow part that happened at first. It is wonderful. The same emergent phenomenon (the network effect) repeated as more people got telephones back in the day. It repeated again with LinkedIn’s network as another example. This pattern also applies to Temple & Family History work and is a blessing that happens here in mortality (we help link specific individual people). When we get to heaven and perhaps meet all those we helped link together imagine what that might be like then! This is God’s work and he rewards his helpers. Especially the persistent.
For Family History, Get Comfortable with a Bit of Ambiguity
If you’ve seen or participated in the children’s game of “telephone” where a message is started on one end of a line of children and passed to one person at a time until the last person shares what they heard, then you’ve seen how the content of the message can be garbled a bit.
This happens in a surprising number of historical records (sources). If a county clerk heard the bride and groom’s names, the clerk wrote down what they heard, filtered through their assumptions of how that name might be spelled. So, the spelling may be off in the older marriage records. The same game-of-telephone occurred with old US Census takers converting what they heard through their own brain’s filters and sometimes what they wrote down is slightly different.
Death certificates were informed (informant), and that person is sometimes not even a family member, but one from a neighboring farm.
Handwritten records in cursive depend on the legibility of the writing. We were blessed with some records with wonderfully legible cursive writing. Others, not so much.
So be comfortable with this ambiguity. As you review sources for your people, rather than getting too hung up on the exact specifics, look for the preponderance of the evidence in multiple sources. If you have more authoritative guidance on the spelling, great, use that.
As you get into modern records with ID checks, this is less of an issue. But as you go backwards in time, this is a much more common occurrence that you might expect. Our modern precision in the now came from less precise record gathering and record keeping. Today the census has us complete the data and the form is scaneed into databases. None of that existed in the 1700s or 1800s.
For Many Of Us Humans The Hardest Thing Is To Ask For Help
Life is hard. The Lord blesses us with family, friends, and a Ward social network where we can worship together, work through difficulty together, repent (make a U-turn), and try again. He also blesses us with guidance from Scripture, the Holy Ghost, apostles, and Prophets.
Mortality brings cycles of challenges that we grow from. It might even be expressed as:
Test → Fail → Learn → Grow → Repeat → Become
My use of “Test” here does not mean the whole enchilada (all of mortal life as a test), but the smaller hourly, daily, weekly, monthly tests.
Haven’t we all formed our current judgment (hopefully good judgment) from mistakes we’ve made, repented of, and learned from? Our children are building judgment. We’re often there to hold them while they cry, love them through the difficulty. Just like our God is there to hold us while we cry and love us through the difficulty. I am profoundly and deeply grateful for His love and reliability.
As a child, I heard adults around me say that men had difficulty asking for help more than women. What I have observed is that sometimes we all have difficulty asking for help. Are we more comfortable asking God for help than a ministering brother or sister?
One member of the Church said it this way:
A few weeks after I had my second baby, my husband was out of town and I caught a bad case of influenza. My mother-in-law tried to help me care for my newborn and my 18-month-old, but she had her own health issues and had a hard time keeping up with their needs. Being sick and without my husband, everything was chaotic, and I felt like I had lost control of my life. It was obvious that I needed help. I’ve always struggled to ask for help. Doing so has made me feel ashamed, embarrassed, and incapable. But this experience forced me to understand the deeper importance of this principle.
Then she said this:
The scriptures teach us to “mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort” (Mosiah 18:9). And in the gospel, we know the importance of serving and comforting others. But rarely do we accept that we need that comfort at times too. It’s natural to find ourselves on one side or the other—needing help or providing help. So why is providing help rewarding but needing help is sometimes embarrassing?
What are our expectations? I see people in our ward providing help often. In certain callings you see people asking for help more often. Is it God’s culture to not ask for help or is it the worldly culture around us? How is our pride involved with asking for help? Do we judge ourselves if we ask for help? Do we compare ourselves to others? How is that working for us? How aligned with Jesus Christ’s example is that?
That author I mentioned went on to quote 2 Nep 2:8 which tells us that without Jesus Christ none of us can be in the presence of God. We all need His help. She then quoted President Camille N. Johnson, Relief Society General President.
“Jesus Christ is our relief. … So why do we insist on carrying our rocks alone? … Brothers and sisters, I can’t go at it alone, and I don’t need to, and I won’t.”
That author realized that “serving others and allowing others to serve us with His pure love.”
A church education manual says
God has commanded us to be humble and ask for help so we can improve. As a student, you can ask for help from your parents, your teachers, your tutors, and other students. Sometimes it can be hard to ask for help. You may feel embarrassed or worried that others will laugh at you for not understanding.
I have shared this to help you see the application to Temple & Family History.
- We have ward consultants at the family history center hoping to provide ward members or members of our community with Temple & Family History help.
- Some of us are too old to help you move to a different house, but we can help you with Temple & Family History work!
- Yet often we are disappointed because no one asks for help.
- We get excited when someone finally asks for help and we can help the one
- Recently a sister asked for help with how to leave audio segments as memories, and I enjoyed helping her use audacity as an audio editing tool.
- The Stake Family Search Center director recently invited members of the Parks & Recreation staff to come for weekend classes. We enjoyed helping them.
- I have observed primary children in the other ward in our building giggle with each other as they help each other doing family history work in the Family Search Center. Giggling while engaged in family history service! Having fun with each other too.
- Almost half the ward does not have their parents, grand parents, and great grandparents in FamilySearch.org yet. We are there and willing to help you do this. Even step-by-step as you get better at these skills.
- All of the consultants listed at the bottom of this message WANT to help you. They have the skills to help you. And we wait on you to ASK FOR HELP.
- Please ask us for help. We’ll be happy to help. We promise not to think any less of you for asking for help.
- We enjoy providing Temple & Family History help. Please ask any of us for help.
- We’re willing to help over Zoom, we’re willing to come to your house if needed. We hope for you to ask for help. We hope to serve you in TFH areas.
- If receiving help makes you uncomfortable, then we can just be nearby (like a good waiter or waitress) for when you call us over rather than hovering over your shoulder. That is why you might see staff working on something when you come in. But we’re doing that while waiting for you. We’ll gladly set that aside to help you.
- Temple & Family History includes technology that seems like an obstacle at first but helps a lot when you use it well. We can help you use it.
- If you would rather one person to help over another, we assign each consultant a different time slot for staffing the Family Search center at the stake building. Pick the one you want (like I have with barbers (in my past, ha ha!))
- If you really would rather self-study, we can show you where the self-study resources are located online.
- We want to help you without thinking less of you, without embarrassment, so you too can join in this great work. PLEASE LET US HELP YOU in Temple & Family History service.
Story Time
- Our Elders Quorum has been meeting in the High Council room, which is closed off by doors. It has allowed brethren to feel psychologically safe enough to say aloud, “I"m struggling” and then receive loving validation first. If ready to accept help, help from the others in the quorum is offered. The spirit is strong when this happens. Sometimes there is initially awkwardness. The love for each other is apparent. This is part of being in a Ward together in God’s kingdom. It is a blessing. I feel so blessed to be a part of God’s great work. He helps us when we’re down. We help each other too, all of us children of our Father in Heaven. That we are organized into Wards and Stakes; it is part of the blessing of working together in the Kingdom of God.
Other relevant asking & giving help stories include:
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The man born lame sat at the gate of the temple and asked for donations. Peter and John could not give him money, but offered to heal him in the name of Jesus Christ.
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A father brought his son to Jesus after the disciples couldn’t help his son. He cried out “Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.” Jesus healed the boy.
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The Israelites, facing harsh oppression under Pharaoh, cried out to God for rescue. God chose Moses and delivered them.
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Hebrews 13:6 So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me. (emphasis added)
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John 14:13-14 And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.
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Matt 7:11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?
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Phillipians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
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Phil 4:6 but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. (supplication = asking for help)
In a world going through times of uncertainty, pain, disappointment, and heartbreak, we might feel inclined to rely more on personal abilities and preferences, as well as the knowledge and security that come from the world. This could cause us to put in the background the real source of succor and support that can counter the challenges of this mortal life. (Elder Taylor G. Godoy, Of the Seventy, April 2024)
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Elder J. Devn Cornish Of the Seventy said (Oct 2011), Little children, young people, and adults alike, please believe how very much your loving Heavenly Father wants to bless you. But because He will not infringe upon our agency, we must ask for His help. This is generally done through prayer. Prayer is one of the most precious gifts of God to man.
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Another person, Bobby, told this story. When I was in high school, my wrestling coach, knowing I was a Christian, would try to motivate me to practice harder by saying (yelling): “Bobby, you know that ‘God helps those who help themselves.’” I wanted to correct him, but this was back in the 1970s when coaches could and would be pretty brutal and harsh. But after about the 3rd or 4th time, I said: “You know, Coach, that’s not in the Bible.” He was shocked. He said, “Show me!” I said, “I can’t show you, because it’s not in there. But I can show you that the Bible teaches the opposite—‘God helps those who admit they are helpless…’”
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That article aimed a college students said
While many perceive adulthood and asking for help as mutually exclusive, it’s important to recognize that everyone needs help from time to time. That’s a clear marker of maturity—and one that ultimately allows us to overcome the obstacles we face.
- Forbes, a major business site, had an article this year called How To Ask For Help At Work, Without Looking Weak. The title alone shows how our culture views asking for help. God’s patterns are higher than the world’s patterns.
Suddenly you’re caught in that classic dilemma: push through alone or ask for help? Many professionals default to soldiering on solo, thinking, “I should be able to handle this myself.” It’s a natural response, but often a costly one. While logically we know reaching out beats struggling alone, the internal resistance is real. It’s that nagging voice asking, “What will they think of me?”
Reminder. Current Workflow for Family History:
Think Inputs and Outputs.
- Historical people’s information first has to be digitized (others do this).
- We index people’s digitized information so the image can be associated with text, which can be found in computer searches. AI is still not good enough to do this by itself.
- We link families' data together in FamilySearch.org (each member’s initial target is 4-Generations found and linked. Later we work cousin lines too.)
- We attach people’s information (source data) to the right person to help us and others to get to know them better. Attaching more sources also shows our hypotheses about individuals more likely true than not true as we build a clear picture of who they were.
- Then, we can get names to take to the temple and offer them the choice of being linked to their families for eternity.
- By delving deeper, finding and attaching sources and their small bits of information about our ancestor’s experiences, we get to know our people (both direct lines and cousin lines), and our hearts turn to them. As more original sources are digitized and indexed, more puzzle pieces become available. It’s an ongoing and accelerating effort. When are we “done” knowing someone? We can all go beyond the dates of their birth and death and get to know our people.
- We can bless others by sharing with our immediate family and cousins what we’ve learned about our shared ancestors or kin, helping all of us feel more grounded, knowing where we came from. Potentially helping them to turn their hearts to their fathers too.
As Ward Temple & Family History Consultants we are called to help you with HOW to do these things, the Lord has asked that we all do.
Sincerely, Your Ward Temple & Family History Consultants,
During Stake Family Search Center posted hours, our staffing assignments are posted
(our contact info is in the tools app, or see us in church)
P.S. - Older versions of this Ward Message (without names), with some how-to instructions, are at familyhistorystuff.com for your reference. This site is not for profit. The .com was a mistake when .org was intended, and would have doubled the cost to fix the mistake.